Dear Alice

Christmas isn’t merry for everyone……

Dear Alice,
Every year the whole family goes to my sisters for Christmas day. My partner and kids are worried about going because it always ends in tears. We want to do the big family lunch thing but everyone tends to drink too much and fight over old family drama. I don’t know what to do. Help!
– Sandy

Hi Sandy,
It’s a common assumption that Christmas brings joy but for a lot of families coming together might not always be for the best. Preparing for the day is enough to stress anyone out, not to mention sitting around without much else to do than argue over Grandma’s will. Firstly, you need to create a plan and inform your partner and kids of how it is going to play out. Lay the ground work early. Let your sister and family know that you can only stay for a few hours because you are going to visit a friend that lives far away. Have a set time that you must leave by; this will make leaving on the day easier. Next, if you can summon the courage on the day, Speak up! Make a speech and reflect on how important your family is to you. At the end of the speech, state that you want everyone to be happy and ask that they set aside their differences for the day and avoid those nasty topics. Lastly, try some practical tactics. Like playing board games and making a seasonal cocktail for everyone with only half-strength alcohol. Diverting people’s attention and lowering the alcohol level could add a few extra hours of peace. Lastly, if the traditional Christmas plan isn’t working out perhaps it is time to consider a destination holiday for yourself, partner and children.
Best of Luck,
Stay Sane.